When I was a young girl, good Christian girls never talked about sex. Ever. I knew I could talk to my mom, who was a nurse, but her clinical approach made me uncomfortable. Therefore, I avoided the topic altogether. Unfortunately, I learned a very tainted, shameful view of sex through sexual abuse, teen magazines and friends my own age.
So when I had children, I determined to do things differently. But in all honestly, I probably made some of the same mistakes because I suffered from the shame of abuse. Like all parents who love their children, I did the best I could.
In anticipation of this post, I talked with several moms about sex education. Many had similar difficulties. Sex is not an easy topic to talk about with your kids, but if you don’t someone else will, and you will probably not like what they teach. Sex education classes may teach teens to practice putting a condom on a banana or pass out condoms like party favors.
One mom I spoke with said she was probably too open. Another let her children to come to her with questions. However, if your kids are like I was, they won’t ask you, they’ll ask their peers, learn about it in school or find information on their own over the internet.
We spoke with our children periodically, at different stages. Using compelling questions, we strove to keep the lines of communication open. We were fairly open with the kids but we are even more open now. Let’s open up communication and share about sex in a positive way, from God’s point of view. The more open you can be with your kids, the less mystery and shame is attached. Don’t get me wrong, they will definitely be curious, but you want to be available to help guide them in this misguided world.
My contest this month is for the book, Teaching Your Children About Sex by Grace Ketterman, MD. Please click here for the rules (so far, only three people qualify). I think this will be a wonderful teaching tool. This article is also published on Sex, Love & Marriage. Check out the comments there as well as the rest of the blog.