In My Own Skin

As I was putting on my makeup today, God unmistakably gave me my blog topic for the evening. This blog is about living bold and free- and the journey He’s put me on to get here. I may not always feel bold and free but He tells me I am and that’s enough for me.

Living bold and free requires me to do some radical things. When God tells me to do something unusual, I’ve learned to just obey. As I step up in obedience, God moves. Not because of me, but because of Him.

To me, living freely is living without any worldly constraints. I don’t have to worry about what anyone thinks of me because I know what God thinks of me. I don’t need to take a poll to see what all my friends think I should do if I am following what God calls me to do. I don’t even need to ask anyone if they think I heard God right. I know when my Savior speaks to me because I am His sheep and I know my Shepherd’s voice. I may be one of the millions of tall Scandinavian blondes He’s put on this earth but I’m as special to him as if I was his only child. He calls me precious and I am daddy’s girl.

One of the first things God had to tell me over and over again was that I am beautiful. I felt ugly, and unworthy. Imagine, a princess feeling like that! As a child of the king, I’m a princess. Have you ever seen an ugly princess? I sure haven’t. He told me, All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

I finally got to the point where I felt beautiful when I had the right clothes and makeup on. He kept telling me that I was beautiful in just my skin. Just my own blue skin without any makeup. He thinks I’m beautiful plain. So, I took the picture. I’ve never allowed one to be taken like this.

So here I am, just plain me, forty-three, bold and free – beautiful in my own skin.

He showed me that true beauty is not on the outside, but on the inside, it’s the stuff he’s been growing in me. It’s not about the hair, makeup, or the size I wear. It’s about Him. When people see me, I want them to see Him.

What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.

*Song of Solomon 4:7 (NIV)
*1 Peter 3:3-4 (MSG)


10 thoughts on “In My Own Skin

  1. Another great post Jan! I spoke at a Ladies Retreat last Fall on this very topic. It’s a message that has been muddied for generations by what we are taught by family, friends, the media, and the church. I think you’re right on. However, I think it’s also o.k. to be beautiful on the outside. It’s not our makeup or how we wear our hair, or our clothes that make us beautiful. True. But those things can enhance what God gave us. I’m agreeing with you that God wants us to know that we are beautiful princesses and that we reflect God that is in us. Sometimes our outward appearance can get in the way of that. I have just grown a little weary of being told by some – especially those in the church that it’s all about the inside and the outside is of no consequence. I’ve heard it said to comfort the average looking girls and also to shame the girls that are proud of their outward beauty. I’ve also had that verse flung at me by women who thought I shouldn’t wear makeup or pierce my ears, or color my hair. It was used to make me feel like I was superficial if I valued these things at all. I get your point and I certainly agree with you…I just choose to also think of Esther and how God used her outward beauty as well as her inward beauty to save a nation from death.Good for you with the picture. You really are beautiful!

  2. I love watching you grow into the comfort of your own skin. And I also love our times of girly-girl, make-up and hairstyle talk. The thing is…we are free to do both of these things. Aren’t we blessed by our Father to play dress up under His Sovereign hand? And aren’t we beautiful to our Abba when we don’t? Ah, divine freedom. It breathes life into the women we are called to be.

  3. You’re amazing for posting a non-make-up/hairdo pic! Very bold, indeed! I love your blog (and the format, too!)Blessings, Stacy

  4. I’ve known you for just about 30 years and I’ve known all that time how beautiful you were and are. Both inside and out. With long and short hair. In times of plenty and not so much. When you’ve weighed more than you do now. You’ve always been a beauty to me. My only hope is that I can spend another 30 years with my most beautiful babe!

  5. Ah, Niki, I believe that you are referring to what I like to call the “homelier than thou” homeschool group. To participate, you must wear jean jumpers with Keds and socks, long hair, never wear makeup, and have at least half dozen children. Sadly, some don’t even wear wedding rings. I believe that is bondage in and of itself. To me, a woman not wearing makeup is like buying a beautiful home and not hanging window dressings or placing flowers on the table. Yes, the house is beautiful but it looks even better with all the little extras. I believe God wants us to look our best. But, I don’t believe He wants us to be in bondage to it. I used to wear tons of makeup and I hid behind a thick layer of makeup and huge mane of hair. Today, I’m no longer under that bondage. Either extreme is bondage. Now I’m free to just be me. I didn’t post this so everyone would say, “Yes, you’re beautiful.” That’s not what it’s about. I know that I am beautiful in Christ and that gives me the freedom to boldly step out and appear in my bare face. For some, it would be no big deal, but like Sharen says in her comment, we are all about looking our best. This is as big a deal for me as it was for Tanya in Mother-wit to post her weight. This is all about walking in freedom and it sure feels great. Big Greg, I love you.

  6. Jan,All I see is this gorgeous woman with a huge heart, only wanting to help others. Your beauty not only comes from within but radiates outward. You live your life with joy and gusto. As I have grown closer to you, I am in awe of the work that the Father has done in your life. You’re a blessing!

  7. Jan,If you lived in North Texas, I’d take you for coffee and neither of us would be required to wear make up, but we could both talk about how faithful God is to tell us how beautiful we are. I just have to tell you that over the weekend the Lord and I were discussing some things, and I said, “I just want to be comfortable in my own skin.” When I read the title of your blog, I nearly fell over. I even mentioned the “homelier than thou” homeschool thing in my conversation with the Lord. I love how the Lord is calling His daughters out of the various prisons and pits we’ve been in, and I love how my sisters are rising up and embracing their beauty and worth. This morning I was praying Isaiah 61 over myself, and, Jan, I want to bless you with everything it says in there about setting the captives loose, giving gladness to those who are mourning, giving light to those in the darkness of prison, and so on. You are coming out of the captivity the enemy has tried to keep you in, and you are leading others out with you. May your boldness to believe the mighty things of God increase, and may you take hold of the land long promised you. You are a woman of vision and power, and God is about to let loose some dreams long waited for in your life, and you will see the impact in many women’s lives. Be bold, sister, because you rock!

  8. Jan, this is lovely! A good reminder for me, too. I grew up as the “ugly kid,” and it’s how I’ve always seen myself. I need constant reality checks to remind me that God made me beautiful.

The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. - Psalm 34:19

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